8 PROVEN STEPS FOR DEALING WITH LIFE'S CURVE BALLS

Isn't it interesting how life often throws us curve balls? As my hubby (clergyman) would often say ;

''we're not in heaven yet, you know''.

And that's really jarring for me; to realize just how true that is.

There's hardly anyone you know, who hasn't had their own fair share of 'not so perfect circumstances'.

Some are born into it, others have sudden events play out in their lives, that completely throw them off balance, marring them most times.

Challenges, setbacks, unexpected twists and turns, leaving people feeling different degrees of defeated, depressed, traumatized, and the likes.

Thing is, people do not usually have the skills to navigate their way out of sudden disasters. How exactly do you bounce back from an unfortunate situation?

And that's the whole point of this piece, really. How in the world do you land on your two feet yet again?

Those lemons that life throws at you; how does one make lemonade out of them?

How does someone 'ride' through life's situations, and even use them as building blocks for better things to come, since apparently, there's always something to hope for?

Thing is, will you or will you not keep hope alive?

Would you rather chose to snuff out the embers of hope, or would you fan it to rustling flames?

Your choice.

Knowing, you will not be the first (nor the last), to find themselves "between the devil and the deep blue sea".

So, can you truly survive this?

Can you grow stronger ?

Thrive still?

Can you keep focus on that part of the glass that is half full and not half empty?

Can you possibly keep some creative proactivity alive?

Here are a few ways (not exhaustive), you can intentionally employ to help you out of that rut, once and for all;

1) Build Support Networks or Groups; This can consist of family, friends, and well wishers, in whom you can confide, who know what you're going through and won't judge or berate you.

These people do not even have to know themselves but you know who they are and what they mean to you.

On the other hand though, you can also enlist in support groups specific to your particular needs.

The other day, I had to find one on Facebook, for my cousin who was struggling with caring for her special needs child.

Now she's not as ignorant and fearfully anxious as she used to be, just because she now has a wide community of other parents successfully dealing with the same things, most of whom are much more informed than she is, and are willing to share what they know, for free.

Similarly I must say, you can find other communities dedicated to a wide range of human experiences. Words alone cannot describe the efficacy of such groups, for those who find them.

2) Self Care (PIES); Whatever the case, ensure that you begin looking into your own self as regards your PIES (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual well being). You just start from somewhere albeit in bite sizes, and work your way up, doing better and better.

You will begin to feel better little by little, once you're able to record smaller successes..

Your courage and confidence will begin to spike little by little, emboldening you in time, to take on more goals and creative solutions, you'll see.

3) Express Yourself; Find healthy ways to let out your feelings eg praying, praise, journaling, craft, exercise, creative expression, etc.

A combination of some or all of these and more (if you like), have been proven to set individuals off nicely, on the sure path to recovery.

An artist may chose to draw or paint, at a time like this, and many an artist/paimter indeed have been known to paint masterpieces during the darkest times of their lives.

Writers also, etc.

No better time to reach within your truest self thereby connecting with other people's realities through your own expression of same. Thus finding people that can identify with your particular experiences, similar to theirs.

Isn't that the whole point of a life shared?

4) Set Boundaries; It's important to look with hindsight at the possible causes of the situation and create boundaries necessary to prevent a re-occurence.

This may involve avoiding certain places, people, or generally avoiding being found in circumstances likely to trigger a certain unfavourable chain of "strangely familiar" reactions.

5) Learn Assertiveness; Going forward in some situations, you may need to brush up on your skills with assertiveness and even your emotional intelligence in relating to other people.

If prior to this, you used to hide and put yourself last always, you may now need to learn to find ways to intentionally and more tactfully begin putting your foot forward, letting your voice, opinion be heard, especially if what you have to say, is crucial to your own honest to goodness wellbeing.

6) Altruistic Giving Back; It's been proven that it's therapeutic engaging in charitable acts or volunteering with worthwhile endeavours right in the middle of your own pain.

So, being able to look away from yourself for a bit, in order to be a blessing for a good cause, begins already to paint a beautiful picture around you (my thinking).

Thereby working on your own psyche, and whispering to you, a message of hope.

7) Educate Yourself on Matters to Do With Trauma;

As you're doing already by reading this.

Learn about Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, etc, and their different stages so you can equip yourself the more going forward, on how to beat the situation once and for all. Not to say you need a PHD on the subject though. Just enough information covering what you're experiencing, at least.

In the process, you will also learn how to consciously identify and replace your negative thoughts, with more realistic positivity.

8) Seek Professional Help; If per chance, you find that you're still struggling, it is then time to consider seeking the professional help of a certified and trusted trauma counsellor, psychologist, etc.

Exercise Patience; Lastly, patience is that one virtue you need to calm all the way down, and wait out your victory. You must rein your fears and anxieties in, to remain patient.

Time does heal, dear friend. In time, you'll see how Providence will cooperate with you and orchestrate events in your favour, to smile at you once again.

Wait for it, dear friend.

In all, if you ever find yourself in a rut, don't you stay there. It is your moral right, your obligation to take the necessary steps required to win, yet again.

If it's any comfort; you're not alone.

Wishing you all the best.